'CAUSE AND EFFECT' OF 'NO COMMUNICATION.'"

I am so content with my life, however I am not so content with my marriage! I have tried and tried and tried everything to make it work and nothing works. I get blamed for everything and I am always the bad seed and I can never communicate with him because he blows up.. Especially if it is something he doesn't want to hear, that's when all hell breaks loose. ..Not even something he doesn't want to hear but something about him or his character makes him completely irate!!!!! So, our communication level is at a BIG "O." That would be zero, not an 'O!.. The thing is, I tend to know the reaction before I say something, however, 'always still say something!' Then the same situation that always happens, HAPPENS.. The same mean voice that always happens, HAPPENS.. Then the same angry angry person that always, HAPPENS.. I continue to try to talk to him and it doesn't matter what it is, if it sounds like I am putting him down, or demeaning him, or touching on a topic that is sensitive because I said something that, 'may just be the truth that he can't stand to deal with and certainly doesn't want me to know because that leaves him, VULNERABLE."I have put everything on the line, my whole life, everything in it, everything I have went through, every person I have hurt or those who have hurt me.. Private, Personal, Sensitive... I EXPOSED MY LIFE IN DETAIL WORD FOR WORD, PLAY BY PLAY, GOOD AND BAD HAPPY AND SAD!!! I realize now, I exposed my entire soul, inside and out! There is nothing more vulnerable than divulging my every concealed, covert confessions including my mind body and soul and everything about me inner and outer that I don't like or do like. Or things that I need to change or that I do not like or need to work on. Or things that are sensitive issues such as my every insecurity I have. That's when he turns around all the time and uses those horrible insecurities against me and tortures me with screaming them all out of his mouth with a big grin. Or thing that he doesn't even need to know, for instance a man making a sexual innuendo at a bar when he wasn't there and nothing happened. Because somehow, everything gets turned around on me and then it's back to going out with a friend every 'Once a year!'If my husband knew I was writing this blog, he would be livid, defiant, enraged and utterly infuriated!!! We communicate when it comes to anything regarding, 'Making Love, Sex, Being Intimate or Affectionate.' ..Or should I say he communicates regarding anything and everything regarding copulation and my mind says, 'this is never a problem for him to talk to me about 'SEX' but he can't talk to me about real issues and I am almost forbid from talking about my real issues because I know the effect after I start talking?!!?'So, I just got some of my frustrations out, he just doesn't get it and it could be walking in on him having an affair and making love and he would then ask me, 'what's wrong, what did I do!' So, I have almost given up because there is nothing else he can say or do to me that hasn't been done already. Most importantly, I need a husband to talk to and listen and COMMUNICATE!!!!!!! It's just that to him, I say everything he doesn't want to hear or talk about and that's, "CAUSE AND EFFECT when there is, "NO COMMUNICATION!"XoxoXoOxoXOxoXoOOXoXO, Kristalee ♥